Therapy
by shadowfan13
Summary: What would happen if Sonic and Shadow had to visit a therapist? This story is a parody of a Sonadow story. Oneshot. Please Read and Review! Rated M for safety! If you don't like yaoi, please don't read!


Disclaimer: Although the original concept of this story is mine, Sonic and all other related characters belong to Sega. I also do not own Cirque du Soleil nor any song used in this story. The OCs used in this story belong to me. WARNING!!! This story does contain mild Sonadow towards the end! If you don't like yaoi, please DO NOT READ!! Consider yourself warned. However, if you do choose to read this, be prepared for a surprise at the end!

Therapy

**Roses were in full bloom that day in the city. Today was unlike any other day in Station Square; the famous traveling circus, Cirque du Soleil, was going to perform one of their latest productions at the Hemmingway Stadium. People from all around Mobius had flocked to see the latest performance. Ever since Robotnik had been removed from his seat of power as mad scientist, the overall population of the city grew as new residents came in hordes, feeling safe and secure in the blossoming city. ** **And since Robotnik had been removed from power, the Sonic Team had more time for themselves. However, they soon grew bored with the lack of adventure and serious crime taking place in the city, and it was starting to take a great toll on each of the heroes. So, where exactly were they?** **On this gorgeous Saturday afternoon, the famous cerulean speedster, Sonic the Hedgehog, was not feeling like himself. Instead of taking advantage of the chance to run freely wherever he pleased, he was half asleep watching Jerry Springer, in the house of his obsessive fangirl (heaven forbid), Amy Rose. At the current moment, the rosy hedgehog was opening a bag of microwaveable popcorn, dumping the contents of the bag into a plastic pink bowl. She then proceeded to walk softly across the hardwood floor in the living room, taking extra precaution not to wake up her blue hero. ** **Normally, Amy would be out shopping at the department store either with Rouge or Blaze, or picking flowers with Cream in the fields in the outskirts of the city. Since all three of her friends were busy with previous commitments, she was forced to get out of the house and kidnap Sonic, whisking him away while he took a nap. ** **Even though she stepped lightly, the pink hedgehog accidentally jammed her toe into one of the legs of her mahogany coffee table. She hopped around on one foot in pain and nearly dropped the fresh popcorn. She yelped in surprise as she fell backwards and ended up collapsing into the arms of her slumbering beloved. Sonic awoke in surprise, very upset that his pleasant dreams of an endless buffet of chili dogs had been disturbed. Once he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, he immediately realized that the dream was no longer of any importance; His fangirl/stalker was in his house for God's sake! Heaven only knows what she could have done to him while he was asleep!** "**AMY!! I've told you once too many times! Get out of my house before I call the cops on you!! And I will make sure that you get sent to jail!!" Sonic screamed in horror. ** **The pink hedgehog looked sweetly at him and smiled saying, "Honey, don't be silly! You're in **_**my**_** house!" She then giggled at Sonic's expression of extreme fear that was smeared across his face. Unfortunately for the blue hedgehog, he still thought he was at home!** "**I swear to God, Amy, if you did anything to me while I was asleep, I'll…" Sonic swore wrathfully.** "**No, Sonic! It's not like that, I promise you!" Amy pleaded with the furious male.** **He immediately hopped off of the couch, cursing, "That's it! I've had it with you and your obsession with me! I don't want to see you ever again! I'm leaving!" ** **He nearly ripped the door off its hinges as he ran out of the pink hedgehog's house while she cried out in agony, "Please Sonic! Come back to me! Don't just leave me here…" Certain that she would never see Sonic again, Amy solemnly retired into her small home, tears running down her sorrowful face.** **A Few Hours Later…** **Sonic was storming down the streets of Station Square, having yet to calm down after the incident at Amy's house. He was plotting an escape plan: how he would be able to get a new apartment, in a new city, with his stalker's knowledge. While he was starting to create a new identity for himself, his cell phone started ringing. Angry that someone **_**had**_** to interrupt him **_**now**_**, Sonic forcefully opened his phone and spat, "WHAT?!"** "**Dude, Sonic, you sound really pissed," a young male's voice responded calmly. Instantly, the cerulean hedgehog was able to control some of his temper.** "**Yeah, Tails, I am; sorry I snapped at you," the hedgehog replied.** "**It's okay, Sonic, I know what happened with you and Amy."** **Sonic replied with a surprised tone in his voice, "How did you know that?"** **A new voice suddenly replied over the phone, "Amy was sobbing over the phone about 30 minutes ago. She was whining about how you had broken her heart and wanted me to tell you that she missed you and wanted to apologize to you in person, but had no idea where you were."** **The blue male sighed in exhaustion and annoyance, "Please don't tell me you believe her. And why the hell are you at Tails' house, Shadow?"** **The orange fox laughed over the other end of the phone line. "Come on man! You really don't think we listened to **_**all **_**of her story, did you?"** **The blue hedgehog, relieved that he could still trust his best friend, replied, "I'm so glad you didn't listen to that crazy girl's ranting! You have no idea how relieved I am!"** "**I was actually the one who hung up on her first!" the ebony hedgehog laughed on the other end of the line.** "**Yeah," Tails piped up, "then she called right back and cussed us out! Then we hung up on her… AGAIN!!"** **Sonic then laughed out loud on the other end of the line, "Are you kidding me?"** "**No; it was really that pathetic!!" Shadow snickered, "also, to answer your other question, Tails is modifying my rocket boots."** "**Why does that matter anyway?" the blue hedgehog questioned, "I mean, even if we were going to race against each other, I'd still win, and you'd still fail!" ** "**THAT'S IT!!" the ebony hedgehog angrily thought to himself, "that blue bastard has pissed me off for the last time!!"** "**Aww, what's wrong, Shadow?" the blue hedgehog jeered, purely out of boredom, "what's wrong, emo boy?"** "**Don't you dare call me emo boy, Faker!" the ebony hedgehog shouted over the phone line. ** "**Oh great," Tails thought sarcastically to himself, "those two fight more than an old married couple! I wish I could do something to keep myself from going crazy!"** **Sonic smirked, taking advantage of his rival's latest comeback, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say emo boy; what I meant to say was that you're GOTH!"** **Shadow huffed a reply, "Thank you for your…wait, what did you just call me?!"** **The orange fox was continuing to ponder the situation seriously, "Maybe there's something I can do to keep this from going out of hand." It was at that moment that Tails finally found a suitable solution: psychological therapy.** "**I AM MOST CERTAINLY NOT GOTH!! Just because I like Marilyn Manson doesn't prove anything!" Shadow shouted on the other end of the line. The ebony hedgehog was now extremely red in the face, furious because the other male hedgehog kept twisting his words.** "**Hey, I'm the one who's giving you a compliment. I mean, you were just starting to thank me for it," Sonic taunted.** "**Don't even go there, you son of a…," Shadow growled angrily.** "**SHUT THE HELL UP!!" Tails yelled at the top of his lungs. Shadow, with his mouth wide open with shock, nearly dropped the phone.** "**Uh, Tails…" the blue hedgehog started to say something, but was immediately cut off.** "**I've had it with you two fighting all of the time! Y'all are so immature that you can't settle anything like adults! I'm taking y'all to my therapist!" The orange fox was starting to calm down somewhat, but not enough to make any significant difference.** "**Therapist? What on God's good green Earth are you talking about? And why do you go to a therapist anyway?" the ebony hedgehog questioned, raising one eyebrow.** **The fox replied sheepishly, "Well, my therapist has told me that I have a lot of repressed memories that have the potential to cause future harm. She told me that I need to become aware of my true emotions now before it was too late."** "_**She?**_**" Sonic asked incredulously, "you mean to tell me that your shrink is a woman?"** "**No, Sonic, my therapist is a man; of course she's a woman, retard! And I don't appreciate you using the term 'shrink' around me," the fox replied indignantly.** **The cerulean hedgehog, annoyed by his friend's tone, replied sarcastically, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your delicate emotions."** "**Sonic, quit being a dumbass and listen to what the fox is telling you," Shadow interjected, who noticed that Tails looked deeply hurt, "who knows? Therapy might be a very good option for both of us."** "**Do you actually think this would work?" Sonic asked, making a futile attempt to sound mature about the entire situation, when in reality he couldn't believe what was taking place.** **Shadow replied, "Sure, I mean, if Tails thinks she's good, then she's worth a try. Who knows, the psychiatrist might actually prove that you have dumbass syndrome." ** **The blue hedgehog growled, "Shut up! Tails, meet me at the coffee shop on the corner of 12****th**** and 72****nd****, and bring Shadow with you." He then hung up the phone angrily and started storming down the sidewalk towards the café. Once inside, the cerulean male ordered an espresso and waited impatiently for his friend and rival to arrive. After waiting for only 15 minutes, the other two males arrived, and they proceeded to the psychiatrist's office. They didn't have to walk far; it was right next door to the coffee shop! It was only a matter of walking up a few flights of stairs.** **Immediately after they entered, Sonic already wanted to leave. He could instantly tell that this office had succumbed to the psychiatrist's exact taste in fashion. A feminine dark mauve color covered the walls of the tiny waiting room, giving anyone a sense of claustrophobia. Hanging on the walls were small, modern paintings surrounded by gigantic picture frames. In stark contrast to the dark colored walls, the psychiatrist had stark white sculptures of free form figures which rested on equally stark Doric pedestals. ** **As the cerulean hedgehog was starting to pull at the collar of his shirt due to his apprehension, a young mink of about twenty two walked out of a back room, holding a large quantity of patient files. She then forced them into a nearby filing cabinet, and turned around and saw the three figures in the waiting room.** "**Ah, Tails, I'm so glad you came," the mink smiled at the teenager, "but, your next appointment is not for at least two weeks. Is something troubling you?" ** **Forcefully pushing the two male hedgehogs forward, the orange fox replied, "Yes, Doctor Harris, I've been having an extremely difficult time lately; my friends here have been unable to express their emotions to each other in a mature, rational fashion." ** "_**This**_** is your shrink, Tails? Damn, she's hot!" Sonic whispered in Tails' ear. It was at the same moment when the ebony hedgehog's hand came in contact with the cerulean male's head by way of a painful smack across the back of the head. ** "**Sonic, can't you keep your mouth shut for…" Shadow started to say something very rude; that is, until the therapist interrupted him.** "**Sonic, I appreciate that you noticed my appearance," the young mink blushed in slight embarrassment, "and I would like to thank you, sir, for trying to take up for me. You really didn't need to."** **The blue male winked in sly contentment, "Now, you see, Shadow, she's already taken a liking to me!"** "**Quit putting yourself on a pedestal; that makes you look incredibly arrogant," the ebony hedgehog glared, clearly not sounding amused.** "**Okay, you two" Doctor Harris stammered, "if you don't mind, I'd like to take you back into my office so that we might begin therapy." As she began walking down the hallway, the two males abruptly ended their argument, hoping to save it for a later day. ** **When they entered the relatively small office, they weren't surprised to see that Dr. Harris's sense of style had carried over to this room. A large antique oak desk was the dominant piece of furniture in the room, facing two ivory leather couches near the corners of room. Unsure exactly of what to do next, the two males sat down on one of the couches. Dr. Harris, who had at this point had made herself comfortable in her swivel chair, proceeded to begin with the group therapy session.** "**So, which one of you would like to volunteer and tell me what seems to be your issue?" she asked inquisitively, putting on a pair of rhinestone reading glasses.** **With his arrogant attitude as always, Sonic was the first one to volunteer. "Well, Dr. Harris, I really think that I don't need to be in here right now. If anybody needs help, it's that guy over there." He then took the time and effort needed to point at the ebony hedgehog. "He's always crying about his dead girlfriend; I mean, seriously, the guy can't move on with his life!"** "**HOW DARE YOU!!" Shadow shouted out loud, "Maria was the best friend that I've ever had, unlike you and your stalker!"** "**And how does Shadow's response make you feel, Sonic?" the doctor asked, waiting for his response with curious eyes.** "**How does that make me **_**feel**_**?" he asked incredulously, "I feel like that guy's trying to insult me!"** "**Oh please, get over yourself, crybaby!" Shadow retorted.** "**Hey, don't you dare bring up that girly movie Amy made me watch! She would have killed me if I didn't go along with her charade.** "**Oh, is that so?" the doctor asked while scribbling some notes in her notebook, "would you care to elaborate for me please, Sonic?"** "**Yeah, Sonic, please do tell us more," the ebony hedgehog smirked, reclining into his sofa.** **The blue hedgehog replied, "I'm not inclined to tell you any of my personal business in front of you, especially not in front of her!" ** **Suddenly, the doctor got up out of her sit and walked slowly over to Sonic. She asked, her words slow and even, "do you feel uncomfortable talking to me?"** **Very offended and humiliated, the hedgehog replied, "of course I feel uncomfortable talking to you! I don't even know you! Just so you know, I'm not compelled to stay here, so I'm leaving!"** **As he was about to storm out of the room, she called out after him, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."** **He halted instantly, and slowly spun around to face the psychiatrist again, "oh, really? Please, do tell me, what's going to happen if I walk out of that door?"** **Smirking, Dr. Harris replied, "Why don't you and Shadow take a look outside on the balcony?" She then giggled lightly as the two males gave each other extremely confused looks. As they walked out onto the balcony, they shuddered because they could hear girlish screaming from the street. When they looked down below them, they soon realized they had just encountered the most fearsome type of fangirls: yaoi lovers. ** "**Dear God, Shadow!! There are **_**swarms **_**of them!" Sonic screamed like a girl.** "**OMG!! It's Sonic and Shadow together!! SONADOW!!" One very observant girl was screaming at the top of her lungs. As soon as one cried out, the rest of the swarm followed suit, waving frantically signs that read, 'Sonadow 4EVA!' 'YAOI OWNS!' and 'Believe', each signed boasting a different picture of featuring the two males (all drawn by volunteer artists). If you didn't see the signs, you could have sworn that there was a group of activists protesting an injustice.** **Then, suddenly, one fangirl burst through the crowd and stood in front of the herd, wielding a giant megaphone. She then rallied the crowd's attention with frantic waving of her arms, screaming through the microphone.** "**Sonadow fangirls!! May I have your attention please?" ** **As soon as the crowd had become silent, she continued. ** "**Everyone, listen to me! Our day of sweet joy has finally come! The prophecy is true, my fellow yaoi fangirls! Now, on this very day, we will see it become a reality before our very eyes!" As she continued to preach to the crowd, the girl started to cry with tears of joy. "Today, we will see Sonic and Shadow…KISS!!" Then the crowd erupted into a frenzy of ecstatic cries and shouts of joy, while Shadow and Sonic slowly crept back into Dr. Harris's office. ** "**You see, you two aren't leaving my office until I say so; unless, you give those girls what they came to see," she cackled evilly.** **Extremely nervous and apprehensive, Sonic looked at Shadow, and said, "That's it! I really don't know what's going on anymore, and I really don't care! I just want to leave, NOW!"** **Smirking, Shadow replied, "Of course, if that's what you really want."** **He then proceeded to stroll calmly out onto the balcony, basking in the praise of the fangirls below him. Sonic slowly followed suit, and looked down at the crowd below. ** **Taking control of the situation, Shadow said, "Sonic, look at me."** **When the blue hedgehog turned his emerald eyes to face him, the ebony hedgehog replied in a loud voice, appealing to the yaoi fanatics, "Now, come here, you sexy thing!" He then proceeded to kiss Sonic forcefully on the mouth, eliciting a major round of applause from the yaoi fanatics on the street. Then, out of nowhere, one of the girls pulled out a portable stereo system, and proceeded to play the song, "I Believe in a Thing Called Love," by The Darkness at the maximum volume.** **Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel  
My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel** **Touching you, touching me** **touching you, god you're touching me** **I believe in a thing called love** **Just listen to the rhythm of my heart** **There's a chance we could make it now** **We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down** **I believe in a thing called love** **Ooh!** **I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day** **You got me in a spin but everythin' is !** **Touching you, touching me** **touching you, god you're touching me** **I believe in a thing called love** **Just listen to the rhythm of my heart** **There's a chance we could make it now** **We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down** **I believe in a thing called love** **Ooh! ** **Touching you, touching me** **touching you, god you're touching me** **I believe in a thing called love** **Just listen to the rhythm of my heart** **There's a chance we could make it now** **We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down** **I believe in a thing called love** **Ooh!** **While the song was playing, Sonic was wildly flailing his arms in the air, helpless to keep Shadow away from him. Luckily for him, the kiss lasted not even ten seconds. Any kiss by Shadow was WAY too long for him, but at least it appeased the fangirls…for now at least.** **While the fangirls were screaming their hearts out, the ebony hedgehog ended the kiss quickly, and the blue male cried out, "Dear Lord, Shadow! Why the hell did you did that?!"** "**Did you want to get kidnapped by rabid fangirls again?" the ebony male replied.** "**HELL NO! Of course not!"** "**Well then, you ought to be thanking me right now for allowing you to live, without the fear of the fangirls." At this remark, Shadow turned around and walked out of the doctor's office, leaving Sonic standing there in shock.** **Endnote: It was really late at night when I finished this fanfic, so the ending is probably terrible. How did you like my first try at a Sonadow? Please comment and tell me how I can improve, or what you liked about the story! **


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